The magic of listening

Written By Rebecca Jackson

The meaning of Listen according to Google:

“To give one’s attention to a sound”

Or

“make an effort to hear something; be alert and ready to hear something”

We are bombarded with sounds all of the time: traffic, the ping of an email/ text/message/ notification, the TV, kids playing. More traffic. The list goes on.

Until this moment, I wasn’t actually listening to any of it. I was more interested in meeting that report deadline.

So now, as I am giving my attention to the sounds around me, this is what comes to me: birds chirping happily (sparrows, a thrush!, plovers chasing a hawk), traffic (distant and near), the tap-tap of my fingers on the keyboard, even the sound of a cow mooing. My boy singing a love song to the dog. The day slows and I become calm.

What about active listening, when you are in conversation? I for one forget my train of thought if the person I am with starts looking around or checking their phone, or interrupting each time it is my turn to talk.

Common feedback I get from my coaching clients is “I really feel listened to”. Here are some of the tools I use to listen when I am with clients:

  •   I prepare for the conversation. Become still (even if it is for just one breath)

  • Show that I am paying attention by maintaining eye contact or making some sort of “I am listening to you” sound

  • I try not to interrupt (very hard sometimes!)

  • I ask questions to clarify

  • Lastly, when it is my turn to talk, reflect back what I have heard to show that I understand

 Not only does listening make it easier for you to understand others (and goodness knows the world needs a bit of that), it makes having a conversation with you more enjoyable for the other person.

If you are struggling to be heard at work, or think you might be the one who struggles to listen, give me a call to talk through your coaching needs.

Now back to listening to those birds.

Rebecca Jackson